1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.....

Last night I realized how negative I've become lately, and today I'm trying to count my blessings instead of counting which things haven't turned out the way I wanted to. It's so easy, and so blissfully unhelpful, to just sink into why things suck instead of finding reasons why life is alright despite normal life setbacks.

And so, a list:
1) My family has set me up very well, financially speaking. Although I wouldn't agree with some of their decisions, I will probably never starve or live on the street, or even really have to worry about getting into a financial jam.

2) My parents have been very generous, and I have never really wanted for anything. While this sometimes makes life complicated, since most people have wants and needs that are never fulfilled, or that have to be worked on very hard to be fulfilled, I have lived a good life with them by my side.

3) My family also loves me! Although we're different, and we argue, they have always supported our differences and loved me for who I am.

4) My sister and I are finally--FINALLY!--getting along. It may not last forever, but we are finally being friendly and starting to accept each other, which is pretty awesome. It's great to have her walk into the house, and feel happy to see her.

5) I can cook! I'm not a great cook, but I can pull it off, and I can eat well. I live in a country that provides multitudes of food, and I have an income that lets me eat healthfully, and maintain a rather interesting vegan lifestyle.

6) I have excellent health. I have always been down on myself about my body, because it doesn't look the way that I'd like it to, but I have always been very, very healthy. No need for surgeries, no need for physical therapy throughout my life, nothing like that. I have good hair and teeth, and although I'm no supermodel, I am very attractive. I never wanted (or needed...) a nose job or some other cosmetic procedure. It may not be all that I would have wanted--I don't live in the Beauty Bubble, I'm afraid--but it's a pretty good body, and it's gotten some attention, so I guess that's all I can ask for in this life.

7) I have found really great friends. When I was growing up, the people I went to school with treated me like I was nothing, and like I was absolute dirt, and it really sucked and hurt. When I was older, I thought the problem was me--I thought I was unlovable by anyone but my mother, and didn't know what to do about it. As a result, I was socially stunted, completely unaware of how to interact with people, and how to express myself honestly yet without harming my relationships. Of course, I'm still learning, I am only human, but I've found people who seem to accept me for who I am, and who I feel I can relax around, and I see them relaxing around me. I have always wanted to fall madly in love with some beautiful man, but I think this is better--it's real, and it's completely imperfect.

8) I have two pets who are totally adorable, and who I get to see all the time now that I live with my parents. I also get to see my Dad everyday now, which is great since he's not doing all too well, and I get to talk to my Mom a lot, which is maybe too much for me, but I think she really enjoys. It's hard for her to have it be just her, her ailing husband, and the two high-maintenance aging animals. I think it's nice to have me around, who's young and desperate to maintain herself.

9) I have a brother-in-law who's really cool, and wants to do good for me, and enjoys spending time with me. It's funny how I never felt jealous that she was getting married before me. She is two years older, but I also don't feel weird that in another year I won't be married, and I'll be the age she was when she got married. She brought him into our family, and it's like he was always supposed to be here. That's pretty awesome, I think, and I get to work with him over the next couple of weeks, and I think that'll be pretty fun!

10) I have a job. It's not a perfect job, nor the one I want to have for forever, and it's not even paying me enough right now to be independent from my family, but it's a job. It pays me, and they're nice to me here. I work with nice ladies who want me to enjoy my work, I get a few perks here and there, and I can still walk to work, which is great exercise for the day.

Well, there are 10! And now I feel good about life, even if I don't have much else other than the above worked out right now. Who knew!?!